The ABC’s of Gay Sex

BONDAGE AND DISCIPLINE

Bondage is the act of tying up or otherwise restraining a sexual partner to leave him feeling helpless. For some people, the feeling of helplessness is sexually stimulating. And for some, the act of rendering someone helpless is sexually stimulating. Bondage often also involves discipline, which can include hitting or whipping the person who has been restrained.

There’s no inherent risk of disease transmission in bondage. But there is, of course, major risk in being rendered helpless if the person who has done that to you isn’t trustworthy. Many members of the “bondage and discipline” community follow what they call the “safe, sane, consensual” (SSC) or Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) rules. These rules require negotiation in advance as to what behavior the person who is in bondage or who is being disciplined will accept. And they require the use of a “safe word,” which is a word the person being disciplined or in bondage can shout out to ask the other to stop.

There is significant danger in letting oneself be rendered helpless. That’s why many people who find bondage and discipline sexually appealing engage in it only through organized groups. The Avatar Club of Los Angeles holds group sessions and also workshops where safe and consensual bondage and discipline practices are discussed. The Threshold Society is a similar group. The Southern California Bondage Club hosts “play parties” on the second Friday of each month in North Hollywood. Typically there is a monitor on scene to ensure that no one’s limits are being crossed.

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Dave Smith
Dave Smith
8 years ago

HIV cannot always be isolated in urine, and if it is, HIV concentrations are too small to pose a threat of infection. The HIV risk from drinking urine is negligible. Some conditions contribute to blood being present in a person’s urine, which would contribute to a risk of HIV transmission if your partner was infected. Urine is fine on the outside of intact skin. If there are any breaks on the outside of the skin, don’t urinate (piss) near the break(s). Remember that a pimple or shaving cut is also a break. Cytomegalovirus (CMV) is a virus that can be… Read more »

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